Our week has been consumed with developing boundaries for our two little ones, responding to the testing that toddlers like to put adults through, making time to ensure that each child in our house knows that they are valued, loved, and have a voice, growing attachments that would resemble a Partin web of love, and having many, MANY appointments. I've learned about certain programs for government assistance, watched hours of mama's hair regimens on YouTube, have raced against time while removing soiled sheets, washing, and replacing the same sheets in record time to help one of our lovies avoid shame, have learned both the beauty of receiving "I love you" through giving birth versus earning "I love you" through earning trust, have played referee in numerous sharing showdowns, have found myself to be appropriately dressed yet becoming the center of attention in WalMart (maybe natural curiosity, maybe approval and awe, maybe disapproval...whatever), have been laughed at when not knowing what hair grease was, have received more hugs and kisses per day than I think I ever have before, have juggled home-school, teaching school, teaching online, and mothering five kids, have washed on average 3 loads of laundry a day,.....and all the while feeling like our family has been bathed in prayer.
I made the comment to my mother tonight, and I feel it with every fiber of my being, "I would rather love fiercely and experience loss than to never have loved at all." All five children in our home are our children. We are referred to both as Mommy and Daddy and Mommy Melissa and Daddy John. I get emotional when I think about how beautifully God expands our hearts with every child that is added to our family. My heart is full while my emotions exhausted. We are considered a pre-adoptive family but my prayer is still for the family of the littlest ones. We are getting attached....we are hopeful that those who love us will get attached. We are hopeful that you will join us in loving all of our children when you have a chance to interact with our family. There is no us and them anymore....there is just us. We are resting both on cloud 9 and dead asleep in our beds each night. It is wonderful and overwhelming.
This is from where I draw my strength:
2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
We are saved by grace...it is because of love poured out by Christ on the cross that we have been saved...we love because we are loved and because Christ loves all. We do not worry about what others may say, think, or worry about because we know where God has led us, we are happily obedient to His commandment to love, and we rest in the fact that He is a God of provision. We choose to love, be obedient, trust that he will provide the strength, rest, and meet our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs in every season of this journey for every one of us. When we are weak and feeling defeated, we stand on the promise that these are the moments that God will shine.
For those asking how you can continue to support our family, we again ask that you love each of the five of our children the same showing not one favor over the other, that you give us grace if we drop one of the many balls we are juggling in the air, that you use encouraging words, and that you pray for our family as well as the family of the little ones and the social workers involved. We are happy. We are exhausted. That is all.
Just helping me do a little laundry!
Princess Captain America is here to save the day!
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