"It takes a whole village to raise a child."
"This Igbo and Yoruba (Nigeria) proverb exists in different forms in many African languages. The basic meaning is that child upbringing is a communal effort. The responsibility for raising a child is shared with the larger family (sometimes called the extended family). Everyone in the family participates especially the older children, aunts and uncles, grandparents, and even cousins. It is not unusual for African children to stay for long periods with their grandparents or aunts or uncles. Even the wider community gets involved such as neighbors and friends. Children are considered a blessing from God for the whole community. This communal responsibility in raising children is also seen in the Sukuma (Tanzania) proverb "One knee does not bring up a child" and in the Swahili (East and Central Africa) proverb "One hand does not nurse a child."
In general this Nigerian proverb conveys the African worldview that emphasizes the values of family relationships, parental care, self-sacrificing concern for others, sharing, and even hospitality. This is very close to the Biblical worldview as seen in scripture texts related to unity and cooperation (Ecclesiastes 4:9,12) and a mother's self-sacrificing love (Isaiah 49:15-16)." (Click here for the resource.)
This proverb has been near and dear to my heart ever since children began entering our home. In fact, upon settling in amongst other believers at our church who also had young children and were approximately the same age as us, we were approached one day and told that we had to come up with a new Sunday School class name because a younger group needed to be referred to as the "Young Adult Class." After we let the shock of that moment pass (because none of use have moved on from age 29, for goodness sake!), we decided to call ourselves "The Village."
Our family is so blessed to be a part of a village who loves our children and loves John and I fiercely. Our village includes our family of grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. It also includes close friends, their children, their parents, our church family, our neighbors and our community. I understand that in other cultures, people leave their doors open so that others in the village can move in and out of the homes visiting and living amongst one another. When I heard that, I first felt sad that the majority of Americans keep our doors closed and locked--but then I thought about how open our door really is, honestly. There are very few days each week that we do not have visitors welcomed into our home rather through physical visits, phone calls, texts, messages, etc. We are connected and while our physical door may be closed sometimes, it is wide open to receive our village or move out to support others in our village.
I am feeling incredibly emotional and sentimental when John and I envision many of your faces and what you all have meant to us and our family these last few weeks especially. We see so many of you who reached out to arrange delivering or allowing for us to pick up the physical necessities of clothes, strollers, booster seats, diapers, hair products, shoes, etc; we see the faces of those who came over and helped go through all of the items we received to divide, wash and arrange the clothes; we see the cards, gift cards, and notes you have signed encouraging and supporting us, we see the faces and the hands of those of you who prepared food and brought it to our doorstep to lessen the chaos of the dinner hour or to provide us a sweet treat; we see so many of you who have cuddled, encouraged, complimented, and exchanged a kind word with all five of the children; we hear the offers to keep one to all five of the children for us; we see you who have already watched one to five children so that we can run to appointments, get some rest, or get work accomplished; we have seen your faces of concern as you have reached out to John and I to check on our current condition; we see the hands working in our daughters' hair or the notes sent with encouraging suggestions all with the purpose of supporting me and helping them to feel beautiful; we see the looks of grace and mercy as we have forgotten to get back to you, complete a task or if we just seem too tired to carry a conversation; we see you sacrificing your time to make time for us, and most importantly, we feel your prayers....so, so many prayers.
We absolutely love our village. We wouldn't trade you all for any earthly possessions. God has always intended on His children to surround one another so that all of His children could love, support, hold accountable, and encourage one another.
You all have been standing by us, encouraging us, helping rear our children, have shared your physical possessions, your emotional concern, and prayerful hearts with us, and you are blessing us in so many ways. While we don't always love accepting help because we feel others need it more, we are finding that God doesn't call us to be proud but delights in our humbleness and openness to allow for Him to provide for our needs. You are the hands and feet of God to us. Thank you for your love, encouragement and obedience to helping us raise our children.
(If you are reading this and do not have a village...we invite you to be part of ours. Send me a message--we want to pray for you, support you, encourage you, and love you too!)
